


mess me up, but no one does it better

by princessparkmanor



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race UK RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:34:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessparkmanor/pseuds/princessparkmanor
Summary: A'whora and Tayce are friends who do some more-than-friendly stuff sometimes, A'whora is a pining mess, they're both confused, and Bimini is a really good friend.
Relationships: A'Whora/Tayce (Drag Race)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	mess me up, but no one does it better

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published fic, so please be kind <3! 
> 
> This is a canon-compliant fic set during lockdown. It's from A'whora's POV, but it's written in third person, and I used she/her pronouns for them, both in and out of drag (because using male pronouns for them makes me feel awkward for some reason).
> 
> The title is from "Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monae.

A’whora’s head was pounding. She hadn’t even opened her eyes yet, stuck in the limbo of being half-awake and perfectly aware that as soon as she moves she’s going to be hit with a really bad hangover. And she had another excellent reason to stay asleep forever. She could hear Tayce breathing, feel her limp hand barely touching her. She was so not up for dealing with this right now. She hadn’t even had a second to deal with it on her own yet. 

She opened her eyes. Tayce’s room was mostly very clean and tidy, which made the discarded bottle of tequila on the floor, scattered clothes and rumpled sheets even more jarring. She put her hands over her face and sighed. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She had to get out of here before Tayce woke up and make herself some tea so she could be able to think. Slowly, she climbed out of bed trying her hardest not to move the mattress too much and picked up her underwear off the floor. She cringed at the sight of it. The delicate blue lace was mocking her. Seriously? she asked herself. She was so dumb and embarrassing when she was drunk.

The night before, they were having a relaxed evening at home and decided to get wasted for no good reason. The bottle of tequila on the floor wasn’t the first one they had, which was a very bad idea now that she thought about it properly. Two people with unresolved issues sharing that much tequila could never end up without consequences. She knew that. And yet. 

It was around 2 am when Tayce suggested they get in drag. “What?”, A’whora asked, laughing hysterically after they spent about an hour belting out the best 2000s hits with overly dramatic choreography. 

“Yes, come on! It’ll be more fun!”, a very drunk Tayce was pulling her sleeve, her eyes sparkling in a way that made A’whora weak in the knees and utterly powerless to resist her. She would have done anything Tayce wanted, just to keep that glowing smile on her face a little longer. 

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, you absolute hound. But I bet you can’t even do your eyebrows right now.” 

“The nerve, the gall, the audacity and the gumption! I am not even drunk, thank you very much.”

A’whora smiled. “Sure you’re not.” 

Even though Tayce was more open with her than with anyone else around her, she was still a very emotionally distant person sometimes and A’whora loved seeing her like this. Relaxed, happy, drunk out of her mind and excited about everything. It was a rare sight and it warmed her heart more than she would have admitted in that moment. Tayce took her hand and led her out of the living room and to the staircase. 

“I have an idea.”

“Can’t wait”, A’whora deadpanned. 

“Okay. So, we should get ready separately, in our own rooms, and then come out and surprise each other with our looks.”

A’whora looked at her. “Fine. But I’m taking the tequila with me”, she snatched the bottle from Tayce’s hand and started climbing to her room. The reality was, she was more than happy about this idea. The last thing she needed was them getting dressed in the same room, exchanging clothes and messing around. She was decently tipsy by now, and all that dark, glowing skin on display would inevitably break her. And Tayce wouldn’t say no. So she would wake up in Tayce’s bed and hate herself. She closed the door and took a large gulp of her drink. She was still sober enough to do her makeup decently, so she got down to business while she still could. Half an hour later, her eyes were covered in sparkly blue tones, her wig was on and she had to figure out what to wear. Obviously, she had to go for something old, because she couldn’t risk ruining any of the looks that were actually worth anything. She found a light blue, glittery mini dress that was one of her college projects wasting away in her bottomless closet and slipped it on. She took a large swing from the bottle again and decided to change her underwear. It was weird to be in drag and wear men’s briefs underneath. Or, at least that’s what she told herself to make herself feel better about wearing the sluttiest pair of panties she owned, just to dance around with her best friend. She needed more tequila. 

She came downstairs and banged on Tayce’s door. “Are you done?”

“Yes. Wait a second”, came a mumbled reply.

Tayce opened her door and stopped in the doorway. Her eyes widened comically.

“You didn’t say we were doing… that”, Tayce pointed to her dress. 

“What? What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s… very short.”

“So?”, she raised her eyebrows in challenge, trying to hide how flustered she felt all of a sudden. 

“Nothing. It’s pretty.” 

“Let’s go, then”, she turned around to stop herself from blurting out something embarrassing. Tayce was quiet and it was making her nervous. She decided to wear all black, a long, slightly wavy wig paired with black leather pants that hugged her lean legs, and a simple top. She looked ethereal. She always did. 

As soon as they entered the living room area, Tayce went to play some music. A’whora sprawled on their giant couch, hugging the bottle to her chest and praying this doesn’t end in disaster. It was maybe too late for that, but she could still hope. Britney blasted from the speakers and Tayce smiled at her. “Dance with me.”

A’whora loved Womanizer, so she got up and started jumping to the rhythm, singing along and not caring if it sounded bad. Tayce laughed and started singing with her, taking the tequila bottle from her hands and finishing it off in one long sip. She looked at it confusedly. “We need another one.” She stormed off to the kitchen, not giving A’whora any time to protest. They opened the new bottle, both already dizzy from the first one, and Tayce gave it to A’whora. 

“Drink up”, she smiled. 

A’whora wrapped her lips around the neck of the bottle and looked at Tayce, taking a couple of inches into her mouth before pulling back and drinking a few sips. She offered Tayce the bottle with a smirk and Tayce’s eyes darkened, her pupils turning pitch black. She took a sip just as Gimme More began and A’whora’s alcohol-soaked brain chose to interpret that as a sign. That song was perfect for dirty dancing and maybe even more than that. Why not? she told herself as she drank some more before putting the bottle down on the coffee table. She was extremely horny, and maybe Tayce was too. What was the harm in helping each other out a little bit? That’s what friends are for, right? It’s not like they’ve never done it before. And besides, lockdown was making her lose her mind and getting her zero action in the bedroom department. So, why not? There were about a million reasons why not, but in that moment she couldn’t come up with a single one. 

They were standing really close, their faces a breath away. Tayce was looking at her hungrily, but it was obvious that she was waiting for her to make the first move, not wanting to be the one to push it. A’whora turned around, her back against Tayce’s front, and started grinding against her filthily to the beat of the song. She put her hands around her neck and Tayce grabbed her hips, leaning down to softly bite her neck. A’whora let out a quiet moan and closed her eyes, leaning her head back and exposing even more of her sensitive skin. She felt a breath on her ear.

“I thought you said this would never happen again”, Tayce teased, squeezing her hips and continuing to grind against her. 

“Shut up”, A'whora whispered. 

“That dress looks insanely good on you. It makes me want to rip it off.”

A’whora spun around and kissed her desperately, whimpering when Tayce kissed her back just as intensely and started sucking on her lower lip. It was a passionate clash of lips and tongues that was so bittersweet and familiar, yet so new at the same time. Every time they kissed, or fucked, or did anything that blurred the imaginary lines they drew in the sand, it lit a fire in A'whora's heart that would take days to dim out. It was a dangerous game she was playing, letting herself get carried away like this way too often and breaking her own heart over and over again. Every single time she promised herself it would be the last, even though she knew very well that it was a lie. It would keep happening as long as Tayce wanted her like that, because she was the only one who could stop it for real. A'whora was way too weak. 

Tayce walked them backwards to the couch, not breaking the kiss. A'whora let her take her tiny dress off, revealing a pair of matching blue panties covered in lace that took Tayce’s breath away. She pushed her down on the couch and climbed over her, palming her through her panties and making her moan softly at the touch. “Is this all for me?”

“Yes. Yes. It's all for you”, A’whora whined and chased her lips to connect them again. Tayce just meant the lingerie, but it really was all for her. A'whora sometimes felt like she would completely give herself to her if she asked, give her everything she wanted. She was in love with Tayce. She has been for some time now, but the only time she could admit it to herself was under the influence of alcohol. It was too painful to think about sober. 

“Good”, Tayce smirked at her. 

She sometimes got possessive in bed and A'whora loved it. Tayce picked her up to move them to her bedroom, throwing A'whora on the king-sized bed like she weighed nothing and started taking off her own clothes and throwing them behind, not caring where they ended up. She climbed over her, taking lube and a condom from the bedside drawer and started kissing down her chest and stomach. She slowly took off her panties, stopping to bite the sensitive flesh of her inner thighs and lick her dick briefly, before coating her fingers with lube and rubbing her entrance. A'whora closed her eyes and grabbed the bedpost behind her, holding on for dear life. They haven't even started actually fucking and she was already gone. Tayce was everywhere, occupying every corner of her mind and body, leaving permanent marks behind her, a phantom of a touch she'd be able to feel for weeks after this. She moaned at the feeling of two fingers gently opening her up and stroking her prostate with merciless precision. 

“T-Tayce. Please stop. You'll make me come. I want you to fuck me. Please.”

Tayce pulled her fingers out and kissed her hip bone. “Be patient, baby.”

She loved when Tayce called her baby during sex, but it also made her so incredibly sad that she almost teared up. It was a taste of everything she wanted, so close, yet so far away, completely unreachable. She could have this, though. She could have this moment and pretend for a little while. The illusion didn't need to be broken just yet. That's what the mornings were for. 

“Come on, I'm ready”, she breathed out. Tayce put on the condom and kissed her deeply as she lined herself up with her entrance and pushed in. They both sighed with relief, revelling in the feeling of being completely connected to each other. After a few seconds, A'whora lifted her hips and circled them a bit, trying to get Tayce to move. She started slowly and then picked up the pace, fucking in and out of her quickly and deeply while holding her hips up and wrapping A'whora's legs around her waist. Her deep groans mixed beautifully with A'whora's high moans and whimpers and it felt like they were in their own little universe, where nothing mattered but the two of them, right in that moment. They were staring into each other's eyes as Tayce continued to fuck her into the mattress, and she could swear she saw the spark of something in them, but it disappeared so quickly she was sure she imagined it. 

Tayce was constantly slamming directly into her prostate and she felt herself getting closer and closer, mindlessly wrapping one hand around her dick and pulling herself off the rest of the way. 

“Harder, I'm gonna come”, she moaned, her face tucked into the crook of Tayce’s neck. Tayce just groaned in response. A'whora threw her head back, feeling the pressure peak in the pit of her stomach, before screaming and coming so hard she thought she blacked out for a second. Tayce followed a few seconds later, collapsing on top of her. After a few minutes of silence and deep breaths, A'whora came back to Earth and pushed her shoulder. 

“Tayce. You're crushing me.”

Tayce rolled over beside her and gave her a tiny smile. “Sorry.”

They looked at each other for a brief moment, A'whora's heart beating wildly in her chest, waiting for something to happen, for Tayce to say something, knowing very well that she never did. They would just go back to normal the next day. She would wake up first and sneak out, shower and make breakfast like nothing happened and they wouldn't talk about it at all. And then it would happen again at some point. In a month or two, maybe even more. It was a vicious cycle and she couldn't get out. She turned her back to Tayce and mumbled “Good night.”

She pretended she didn't feel Tayce scooting closer and putting a hand around her waist. 

***

After removing her smudged makeup and taking a long shower, she went to the kitchen and made herself some tea. She also made beans on toast, in case Tayce was hungry when she woke up. She couldn't take her pain out on her when it was completely her own fault. Tayce didn't know. She just thought this was a little fun between friends every now and then and had no idea about A'whora's complicated feelings. So how could she ever blame her?

She called Bimini. They were her only friend who knew the real extent of everything. She loved Lawrence, but she constantly mocked their “sexual tension”, which annoyed A'whora and made it impossible to talk to her seriously about it. 

“Hey, babes! What's up?” 

Bimini's voice made her smile a little. “Hey”, she said tiredly. 

Bimini paused. “Oh. You had sex again.”

“What?!” A'whora gasped in shock. “How the fuck did you know?” 

“Babes. You sound like you got run over by a truck and then watched a marathon of the world's saddest movies. There's only one person in the world who makes you sound like that. So I took a wild guess.” 

“Wow. I can't believe I'm that predictable. I need to get a life.”

Bimini laughed softly. “Don't worry. It's just because I know you so well.” She paused. “I assume she's still asleep?”

“Yeah.” 

“Okay. Listen to me. You need to tell her.”

A'whora made a sound of protest. 

“Babes. You have to. I love you so much and I can't watch you suffer like this anymore. And I love her too, you know that. I just want you both to be happy. And you will be. If you tell her.”

A'whora sighed. “She doesn't love me like that, Bim. She sees me as a friend.” 

Bimini laughed loudly. “Oh my god. I love you, but you can be so stupid sometimes. I love you as a friend, but I don't want to sleep with you. No offence. But Tayce doesn't love you as a friend. She looks at you like you're the only bright thing in a world of eternal darkness.” 

“That was way too poetic for an early-morning phone call.”

“Oh, you know what I mean.”

A’whora was silent for a minute. “Do you really think I should tell her?”

“Yes. Promise me you will.”

“I can’t promise that. But I’ll try.”

Bimini sighed. “Okay. See you later, babes. Love you.”

When she turned around, Tayce was standing in the doorway. She nearly had a heart attack, but Tayce just looked really sleepy, so A’whora assumed she didn’t hear anything.   
A’whora noticed that she took off her makeup and was now wearing just an oversized t-shirt, the hem of it barely touching her thighs. 

“Hey”, Tayce said sleepily and walked to the table where A’whora was sitting. She smiled widely when she noticed the breakfast laid out, an empty plate waiting for her. “You made me beans on toast!”

A’whora pointedly looked anywhere but at her. “Yeah. We eat it almost every day, remember?”

Tayce jolted a little and her smile disappeared, which instantly made A’whora want to smack herself across the face. Tayce looked away. “I know, I just meant... never mind.” 

A’whora finished her tea and got up. “I’m going to go meet Bim. See you later?” She had to get out of there. If she was even briefly considering telling Tayce about her feelings, she definitely couldn’t do it now. For some reason, this was more awkward than she remembered it being the last few times, and she felt absolutely terrible. They were best friends, they shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around each other. She picked up her jacket and keys. 

“A’whora, wait.”

She turned around. Tayce walked over to her. She looked more vulnerable than she’d ever seen her, and A’whora’s heart started pounding. What did she want to tell her? Did she figure it out and now she wanted to let her down gently, not knowing how to go about it without jeopardising their friendship? She panicked. “What?”

Tayce looked sad. She very rarely showed her emotions so transparently, but now she looked completely defeated. “I’m just so tired.”

“Tayce, you’re scaring me. Tired of what?”

Tayce gave her a sad smile. “Of pretending I’m not hopelessly in love with you.”

A’whora just stood there, her mouth gaping open. “What did you just say?”

“I’m sorry, please don’t hate me. I really wanted to be your best friend, and believe me I tried, but it’s so hard when I just want to kiss you every time you walk into the room. I’m in love with you. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and I just had to tell you that.”

A’whora felt her eyes well up and she wiped a tear off. “Tayce”, she sighed, not knowing whether to scream in joy or sob. “I’ve been in love with you basically since the day I met you.” 

Tayce’s eyes widened. “What?” 

“I’m head-over-heels in love with you, you absolute hound”, she giggled. “I’ve been turning myself inside out over here, beating myself up for wanting to be more than your friend, and you’re telling me you’ve felt the same all along? Oh my god, Bimini was right. We really are a couple of dumb bitches.” 

Tayce’s expression turned into something more hopeful, the truth of A’whora’s words finally starting to sink in. “You love me?”

“Yes, of course I love you. How could I not?” she smiled a little shyly, and brushed Tayce’s fingers with her own. Tayce stared at her with blatant adoration written all over her face, and in A’whora’s opinion, she had never looked more beautiful. 

“So, are you going to kiss me now or what?”

Tayce connected their lips gently, the kiss softer and more innocent than any of their previous ones. When they pulled away, they couldn’t stop smiling at each other. A’whora thought that maybe this is what real happiness felt like. 

“You don’t really have to meet Bimini, do you?” Tayce asked.

A’whora laughed. “No.”

“Good”, she grinned, took her hand and led her to her bedroom. 

A’whora thought of how the odds of them ending up here, and going through everything they've gone through together, must be next to zero. It was funny how life worked sometimes.


End file.
